maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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