i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
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Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize