I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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