its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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