Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
