I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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