Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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