i don't like sucking hair
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
