walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How external is "for external use only"?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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