That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
