let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps