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farters have to be the big spoon...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
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