Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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