he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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