its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
