so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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