New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize