Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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