Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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