I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Enjoy the penises
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
