But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
