just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
