They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
not ubering you a puppy
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
