Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
