the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
