RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
