8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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