Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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