I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
