grandma shit on top of the toilet
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
