i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
smell my finger.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
