Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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