Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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