I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
50% drunk capacity currently
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
