Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
