having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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