Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
