exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
God, I missed his penis.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
