the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
