You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
