turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
