my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
