The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
