Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
