my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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