Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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