he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
