she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
