Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
