You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
