Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
