I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
