One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
