Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
