We won't sleep together?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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