you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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