did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
