I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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