I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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