I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
