'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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