My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize