So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
