Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize