we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
