Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize