so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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