'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
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Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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