What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
