I'm really into asian looking animals
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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