you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
