so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
